The Dark Night of the Soul. Also known as, “WHY ME, GOD?”

Those of us attempting to develop a deeper communion with the Creator eventually experience an event called (so romantically) “the Dark Night of the Soul” (DNOS). It always sounded so romantic to me, at least until I had my first episode, which ended up lasting for weeks and was extremely tough and down right ugly!  I had just received my Reiki Master attunement.  I worked to incorporate the Love of the Universe every day via Reiki – HOW could I POSSIBLY be so filled with despair, be filled with doubts of faith, doubts about myself, doubts about this existence?  What was this spiraling negativity that seemed to undermine all my faith?  All my life had led me to this moment and wham! NOW I am filled with despair and doubt?

I was floored.  I was devastated, convinced I had somewhere along the way been found wanting, that I had failed. I must be a fraud.  Yet, my spiritual circle helped calm me down and explained what I was experiencing and the fact that they could not help me – I had to find my way out on my own.  So there I was, in the middle of this spiritual event feeling more and more horrible every hour, when I was blessed with a vision.  I saw my life played out in front of me and I realized how every choice and action I had taken had led me to now.  I immersed myself in the poo poo pile that was ME, MY LIFE, and all that it entailed and I was not happy – quite the opposite, actually – because I saw how clearly I had created this reality.

There’s no magic fairy wand to get out of the DNOS and the only person who can help you is you.  So for everyone who find themselves on their knees, screaming in pain “WHY ME, GOD?”, I am going to try to share a few pearls wisdom learned about the Dark Night of the Soul, so if it happens you will have something to refer to.

1.  It sucks.  We all know that and we all feel compassion for you, but you can project your unhappiness only so much before we are going to tell you to suck it up and work through it.  We love you and hope the best for you, but until you are ready to work through your healing needs and figure out what your faith truly is based upon, I can only let you vent at me so much.

I regularly (read every couple of years) experience a DNOS period and I know personally how much it sucks and hurts.  I also know that when I am done with it I have released issues that were holding me back from a deeper communion with the Creator – which is what I want most in this reality we live in.  I need each DNOS episode to grow and I know there is a reason you are experiencing it.  Take comfort – you are loved, guided, and protected by your angels and guides; they can help you navigate this process with growth as the end goal and you will be more than you were when you started it.

2.  Yes, everyone experiences some form of this.  Some people just don’t realize it is a DNOS because they are not on a declared spiritual path.  They may just think their marriage sucks, or having kids sucks, or their job sucks, or being single sucks. They may break away from their religion feeling that it has done nothing for them or they may quit their job or do something else radical because they don’t understand that it is not the external world that matters, it is the INTERNAL.  Regardless, the Higher Self and Angelics are going to try to help that person as much as possible, so they too will have this experience with the hopes that it will give them a nudge towards connecting with Spirit.

Think of it – at least YOU have an understanding of what is happening and a conscious connection with Spirit that this person does not.  You recognized your spiritual longing prior to this event and you tried to figure out what was missing in your life, but this person does not realize what they are experiencing is spiritual longing trying to break through the numerous layers of crap within.  So now, you break through those layers and tell the Angelics to dig deep into your frustration with a big energy shovel.

Scoop out that nastiness that is packed tight in there and bring it out for the Light to shine on it.  Don’t be ashamed of what you pull out and expose – it has helped you get to where you are NOW! Own it, learn from it and thank it for the lesson, ask the Angelics to help you heal and release it, and move on to the next piece of wonderful you unearth.  The DNOS won’t get better until you do.  

3.  Maybe you have developed an ability to communicate with your guides, your angels, or Spirit. Now you will experience long moments when you don’t feel Connected at all.  You are going to feel more isolated and alone than you ever have before.  This too shall pass! But this is where you dig into scraps of faith and you figure out what you believe it.  Are you walking the talk you have been sharing with others?  What do you believe?  Are you going to use this experience to develop a deeper level of Trust and Faith in the Creator and your Path or are you going to reject all that brought you to now and just stay in your poo poo pile forever?

This is not the time to abandon your energetic practices, though you may find it easier to have someone do work on you than doing it on yourself.  Make the effort to go to group meditation, go to the yoga classes, go have some hands-on work done so that your energy continues to flow through you.  Massages are great for validating you are having the human experience!  Whatever energetic modalities have brought you joy in the past, continue to embrace them – don’t turn your back on them!  I don’t suggest specific readings, though – you know the reason you are in the poo poo pile and the key here is to work through your issues and grow!

4. I have faith that each of my student and clients will make it through the DNOS process. I know everything happens for a reason but it is not my responsibility to tell you why it is happening.  It is your job to figure it out!  If you were not capable of overcoming this spiritual challenge, you would not be experiencing it.

The DNOS is more than just personal torment.  It is part of a process, a step on the development of Faith , and is indeed necessary for spiritual growth to happen.  If you don’t heal the hurts and wounds deep inside you then you just won’t be able to commune at a deeper level with the Creator.  This is one step on the healing process so embrace that knowledge and keep on digging through your poo poo pile.

5.  No one is going to go through the DNOS as you do.  And I hate to break it to you – this is NOT a one time thing.  You will encounter the DNOS multiple times throughout your life if you are on an active spiritual path.  You need to spend the time, consciously working on what you are experiencing and what you need to release.  Even when you have given up and have collapsed on the floor in a sodden mess, give yourself a minute and then pick yourself back up and figure out what needs to be healed. Conscious action is the only course of action!

6.  When you are actively working to develop a deeper connection to Spirit you are on an active spiritual path.  Once started, your Higher Self is going to help you discover and release all that “stuff” buried inside of you, preventing you from connecting with Spirit.

At this point, you may not feel at all connected and you may not want to commune with Spirit at all.  All too often after a DNOS begins, the individual will jump right into self pity. Ok – jump into the poo poo pile…revel it in for a few minutes, and then pull yourself together.  You wanted this – you worked towards and for this even though you may not recognize it for the Blessing that it is.

DNOS is VALIDATION that you are making progress on your spiritual path!  So dig into that poo poo pile and celebrate who you are and who you are on the journey to become!

© 2015  Julia Knickerbocker ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

© 2015  Julia Knickerbocker ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Published by Julia Alexandra

Julia is Spiritual Counselor, a trans-channel, a Reiki Teacher, and a Priest of Melchizedek who is currently living the Enlightened Path, traveling to wherever Spirit tells her to go! She frequents North Carolina, Northern California, and Illinois/Wisconsin while (currently) abiding in mid-central Florida.

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