I recently had the (mixed) blessing of watching a child of not quite teen years throw a temper tantrum the likes of which a two year old could only dream. The object ranted against remained exactly as it had been before the tantrum and the child remained no wiser to his situation. I did not intervene, not only because it was not my child, but because I learned a long time ago that interfering in a rant does not eliminate the rant, it merely prolongs the rant, stretches the rant out as the ranter finds more and more things to object to and deny.
I wish I could say I was wise in this and many other things, but I cannot. I can say that I have, over the years between raising children and being a spiritual counselor, learned that it is not my place to interfere with a rant, a pity party, a celebration, or a sullen mood.
As a spiritual counselor, I do not claim to provide the answers to all of life’s questions. I sometimes point out a possible direction; I sometimes give exercises for the participant to practice and through practice, hopefully the student will achieve a modicum of self-wisdom, sometimes all I can do is point out behavior that is detrimental to the stated desired outcome.
I have witness the tantrum often enough; the student arrives, the student does the exercise, yet instant gratification is not provided. The environment that is so distasteful to the student has not perceptively changed from the student’s viewpoint.
No, I agree. The environment will stay the same. It always does, you know. It is the student who must first change because the environment will not – it has no reason to change. Sometimes miraculously, when the student does change, he or she will find that the environment that was so distasteful has become the basis of learning, the basis of joy, and the student embodies gratitude in realization that the environment was necessary.
Perspective is everything, my father used to tell me. I was not granted with understanding intuitively the ways of this world and when I came into this body I was singularly handicapped by that lack of intuitive understanding. Where others glided through the social world I was oblivious and stumbled daily sometimes hourly. The physical world and its social structures were alien and confusing to me.
On the other hand energetic concepts were intuitive to me and I confounded my father at a young age by bringing concepts to him of alternative universes and reincarnation. As they say, if I only knew then what I know now. Over time, my perspective changed and the real world became more real to me and I learned to understand processes and procedures which aided me along my way. And just as I learned, my students will learn, when they decide they want to be open to change.
There are days when I ache for my students who struggle, for my clients who refuse help without understanding they are refusing, for those who continue to perpetuate their unhappiness by focusing on that pain instead of focusing on that which they need to do to heal. But I cannot solve their challenge for them…they have to do it themselves. I have been accused of being cold and hard-hearted, but I believe in Free Will and I honor each person their choices. It is not my place to “fix” anyone or their life. We each get the opportunity to live our life as we see fit, and that means that sometimes we stumble and other times we take a prat fall onto our face. But then we get back up again and hopefully we are a little bit wiser so we don’t repeat that exact lesson again.
“Why can I not get past this,” I hear, over and over? “I have learned my lesson, why is there no change?” Because you have not changed and you do not want to get past this yet, I tell them. You are invested in being unhappy, you are invested in focusing your energy on whatever it is that makes you unhappy. “No, I am not,” you tell me. But yes, I reply, yes, you are. You are feeding your cycle of unhappiness instead of changing the cycle, breaking the cycle, and turning away from it. Change your perspective and leave that which is and which always will be, behind you.
“That’s impossible,” you say. “Why would I choose to create this when it makes me unhappy. This is not what I wanted, this is not what I intended my life to be. I don’t want to be here any more.”
Then change your perspective, I say. Once you change your perspective then it will all be different. Every action and every choice you have ever made in your life has created the life you live. Only you can change it. Change your perspective and you will change your life.
Dear reader, I do not say this lightly. I know one cannot change one’s perspective like flipping on or off a light switch. It takes consistent and dedicated work on a daily basis. To establish a personal program that daily brings in Light and Love into one’s energetic environment will eventually trigger healing and growth even in those most resistant to the changes.
But if one does not take this process seriously, if one does not practice one’s spirituality as if it is most dear, then that change will never happen. Then you have only two choices – the one you started with – throwing the tantrum against the immovable object that does not have regard for you – or just learning to suck it up.
In my opinion, changing one’s perspective is the more beneficial choice.
© 2015 Julia Knickerbocker ALL RIGHTS RESERVED