Lessons on Love, even after Death

A number of years back, I had a client who wanted to know a very common thing – what was her Path?  What was she meant to do?

This client was not young, right out of school.  She was older; she had grown children and a successful career.  She was very numbers oriented and had found a career in a company that valued her abilities even though she did not have a college degree.  They paid her well because they valued her work and she was able to succeed in a way that many divorced women I knew were not.

Yet she was not happy.  She had her share of love affairs, her share of heart break.  She had sufficient money to do what she wanted if she was conservative with her day to day expenditures.  She had friends near and far, yet never traveled much because her first spouse had been in the military and she preferred to stay put at this point.

What was her Path?  Her gifts were solid, if not extraordinary.  She had great perception once her 6th Chakra had all its’ blockages removed.  She was able to see people and situations through a perspective almost clinical yet was caring about others’ feelings – even when they did not care about hers.

We sat down one night and did an Akashic Reading on what her Path was…what was she to do, what was she to accomplish?  Where was she supposed to grow and what was she needing to work on.

Most people have multiple Paths or Goals in their lifetime; many things to be accomplished and many things to be learned and thus never “just one thing”.  Her life Path was all about Love – and its many, many different facets.

Self Love was a huge part of her path – she often gave to others instead of giving to herself.  She gave so much she rarely had any left for herself.  She loved her job and had the best boss in the world; he rarely asked her to work overtime and often invited her to dinner at his home with his wife and other friends and she would bend over backwards to make him happy in any way she could.

Her children, typical as they were, did not appreciate her.  The younger ones preferred to live with the father and the new wife for they had a more affluent lifestyle geared towards partying and carrying on, while my client’s lifestyle was much more sedate.  The oldest child lived with her and while they might be categorized as “best friends” the child never gave anything to her mother, never went out of her way to do more than the basic minimum.  She was in her mid-20s and earning her own living, yet my client footed all the bills so her child could spend her money as she wanted.

Yes, a choice on the part of my client, and eventually the choices, as all do, boiled down to understanding that Love is centered on the idea of complete acceptance of every individual’s free will.

Love of self, love of others, and love of the Creator – these three things are a snapshot image of Love.  In my client’s case, her path was simple – her Guides relayed that she was to be a Lighthouse – a place where every day she was to focus and meditate on Love in all its forms and facets and send that Love out to her neighborhood and everywhere she went.

She, like most clients, do not understand that this seemingly simple Path is incredibly hard and complex.  She thought she understood what Love was – she had been married after all, and had kids, and a sister, and friends after all.  But the concept of Love her High Self wanted her to learn was different from that – very different indeed.  Because work focused on self-Love and Love of others demands you look at things clearly.  And she had the gift for it, she sure did.  Until it came to herself.

The woman who bought healthy food and made good dinners for others herself ate poorly and gave her body bad things.  She did not drink or do any form of drugs, but sugars and carbs and starches were her thrice daily addiction.  In one sitting she could easily eat 2,000 calories.  Not from huge amounts of foods – but from foods produced in unhealthy ways.  Instead of giving to herself she started denying herself and broke off a love relationship she had.

Was it out of fear?  Possibly, but she used the excuse that her children needed her love and attention more than the relationship.  Perhaps…but not more than she herself did.

In the metaphysical world, oftentimes individuals such as myself are included in client’s lives very much like counselors, psychologists.  The majority of us are not trained and we ethical few will refer out to the medical industry as appropriate, but we cannot force anyone to do anything even if we see the possibilities of actions ahead of us.

I went through two cancer scares with this client, only to lose her months after her 50th birthday when two heart valves blew out.  She was on a ventilator for a few days while the family came from around the country to say goodbye.  I was there when they finally unhooked everything and held her hand as I watched her go from person to person in the room to say goodbye, even though they never saw her.

I miss that client.  Not because of any other reason than she had become a dear friend to me over the years and we had lunch or coffee more often than we had sessions.  She helped me to grow and nursed me through both my divorce and a relationship breakup a couple years down the road.

I loved her very much.  Every now and then she pops in to say hello and sits with me – she was never a huge talker before either.  She gives me this smile, shrugs her shoulders, and then a quick shoulder hug before she goes.

Every now and then, I think how she would react in different situations.  Our lives were not that dissimilar but where she chose to walk away from a relationship I chose to dive in.  Where she chose to focus on her career I chose to drop mine and focus on the Work.  Not great differences, really, and I think we both live our lives through one aspect or another of Love.

I just really miss her perspective now and then – she could really nail some things very clearly to the wall with her observations.

So, this Memorial Weekend, I am going to light a candle for my client, my friend and meditate on what she taught me in her way, through her perspective, her choices, and ultimately her death.

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